Friendship Communities (2) - The Ten Friends

Close Friends and Loved Ones Matter Most–Hold Them Dear!

Arriving in Roseburg in 1975 was a real awakening. I went down to buy some plumbing supplies for a leaky faucet in our rental and found that Roseburg literally shut down at 5 pm on Friday for the weekend. Fortunately the leak wasn’t too bad and Monday repairs were soon enough. Having friends to call on when you need help is mostly unappreciated by younger people. It can be a good thing in that you tend to learn how to deal with problems and/or find “interesting” solutions. While working with Umpqua Research Company as the Army Corps of Engineer onsite representative for the Days Creek Pre-Impoundment study, we made several friends. But the next long term group that developed for us was from Mike’s decision to become a football official and Susan’s decision to go to Umpqua Community College. Mike first met Dave Johnston in the football association and later met his wife Janet at their annual Stump Water Days. Stump Water was the result of everyone bringing an alcoholic beverage or mixer and dumping it into a large igloo cooler. Could be fabulous or insidious, but after the first cup...it was always drinkable. After a marvelous early evening of gab & gossip, we would watch a classic movie like North by Northwest or Charade.

Susan graduated from Umpqua Community College and began working there as a part-time instructor and computer operator. She shared a room with Ken Thomason (the first computer instructor at the college) and later with Lynn Kuhn who was a math instructor. Lynn and Susan became very good friends and soon started to plan cooking parties. Mike bought a 36" diameter Wok from a local appliance store’s kitchen display and with the Kuhn’s we started to entertain a large group of friends with a yearly, sumptuous foodie event we called the Wok Party.

It soon became apparent that Lynn and Tony had more friends in town than us–we had one couple (Dave & Janet Johnston) out of the large turnout that we knew. After the first Wok Party in 1986, we decided to invite several of our relatively new friends from the football officials association connection (and their spouses) to even things out a bit. Mike and Dave were the “senior” officials and Dean & Steve were newer members. Turned out that Dean Jones’ wife Merry and Steve Barnhart’s wife Marilyn were super compatible with the new group and would bond together with the Kuhn’s and Stansbury’s for many years as The Ten Friends. (The four guys that officiated called themselves the Big Dawgs based on rating/seniority within the football officiating system, but gave Tony the status of an official Big Dawg even though he was not a “real” official.) We alternated hosting Wok Parties with the Kuhns each year from 1986 to 1995.

Mike, Steve, Tony, Dean, & Dave

Although we had met and partied together fairly often as our friendships solidified, in 1990, the group started another yearly tradition, meeting in Portland the first weekend of December for a formal (dress up) dinner and fun in “the big city”. After going to the same restaurant (Wilf’s) for several years we decided to change it up. On a rotating schedule, each couple would be in charge of finding a place in Portland for dinner, determining a “secret Santa” method for gifting within the group (after all it was close to Christmas), and hosting a room for the after dinner gift exchange party. We settled on the Mallory Hotel (later renamed the Hotel deLuxe) and Larry the Doorman in Portland for our yearly Ten Friends Christmas. Even though in later years we’d occasionally go to places other than Portland for Christmas dinner, the Mallory would always be where our “root memory” of Ten Friends Christmas resided.

December 2000 - Lynn, Janet, Larry, Marilyn, Susan, & Merry

December 2000 - Dave, Tony, Larry, Dean, Mike, & Steve

One Ten Friends story here: Marilyn loved to give out lip balm to everyone at the beginning of each Portland weekend event–clear for the men and “full color” versions for the ladies. One year, long after The Ten Friends started to come to Portland, Tony didn’t notice he’d picked up Lynn’s colored lip balm by mistake. After a round of golf, he’d literally slathered his lips with the “wrong balm” as we left the car in the parking structure. Dean & Merry’s daughter Taylor happened to be driving by with several of her friends and Tony stopped the car and leaned down to say hello. For Tony it was a simple hello, but to Taylor’s three friends in the car it was a very scary experience having a man with sloppily painted, bright red lips stopping them to say “hello”. They apparently talked about that much more than anything else that they’d done that weekend...I’m sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere for all of us.

Bull/Mardi Gras party 2002 (Mostly Boys Pic)

Anyway, The Ten Friends had an incredible number of great experiences together for many, many years. Long weekends in Sun River, Bull Parties (to celebrate those with astrological birthdays under the sign of Taurus–Dean, Susan, and Janet), Leo Parties (Marilyn & Mikee), and of course the other “normal” birthday parties were always in order.

Bull/Mardi Gras party 2002 (The Girls only!)

When Tony was killed in a plane crash in 2009, the group tried to continue but the dynamics had changed. Although the five ladies continued to meet once a year for lunch and gift exchange, the four remaining guys did not join them. When Steve passed away in 2017, the group faded even more.

2008 - Back row (L-R), Mike, Dean, Dave, Tony, & Steve
Ladies (L-R) Susan, Merry, Janet, Lynn, & Marilyn

From 1987 to 2009, the ten of us had a ball together and terrorized many a dignified fine dining establishment with our loud and boisterous joie de vivre! Now that the third member of our fabulous party group (Susan) has left us for a party in the afterlife, The Ten Friends is just a luminescent memory each of the remaining seven of us holds close to our hearts.